In-class Poetry Essay-Sonnet 43 (Feb 28-March 2)

The Task:

You will have three lessons to write your response to the following question:

Explore the ways in which the Elizabeth Barrett-Browning has used language and         other poetic devices to present her ideas about love in Sonnet 43.

To help you write your first literary essay on poetry, the following structure may be useful:

INTRODUCTION

(1 paragraph)

Use key words from the essay title in a brief description of what the poem is about. Comment briefly on the themes, issues, thoughts and feelings the poem explores.  Identify the narrator, the tone and viewpoint of the poem.

STRUCTURE

(1 or 2 paragraph)                                                                                                                              Divide the poem into sections and explain in more detail what the poem is about,               section by section.  Write about the development of ideas and themes from one section to another and one stanza to another. Consider the significance of shifts intone between sections.  Consider the shape of stanzas, line length, sentence length, enjambment and form.

DICTION (WORDS) (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance and effect of the poem’s words and their connotations. Look at semantic fields, hyperbole, contrasts, allusions, level of formality etc. Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language.

IMAGERY

(1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance and effect of the imagery used in the poem. Consider symbolism, metaphors, similes, personification, oxymoron etc.  Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language.

GRAMMATICAL FEATURES (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the functions of word classes. Consider nouns, pronouns, verbs,             adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, prepositions, articles. Also                              consider syntax. Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of                              language. Only write about features which have significant effects.

SOUNDS

(1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance of rhyme, rhythm and meter. Consider the use of repetition .Consider alliteration, sibilance, assonance, short and long vowel sounds, harsh or soft consonant sounds and onomatopoeia.

CONCLUSION

(1 paragraph)                                                                                                                                Return to the key words of the question and give your final personal response to the poem as a whole. Do you think the poem is successful in conveying a message or portraying experiences, thoughts or feelings? What does the poem make you think or feel.

It is expected that you will come to class prepared with a copy of the poem,                           your book and any additional notes you decide to bring.

The session will begin on February 28th and finish March 3rd at the end of the period.

When you have finished typing/editing your work you will print one copy and send one copy to jmayer@bifskorea.org.

Grade Descriptors

Your assignment will be marked according to the following descriptors provided by CIE

Grade A

A Grade A candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:                                                sustain a perceptive and convincing response with well-chosen detail of narrative and situation;                                                                                                                                               demonstrate clear critical/analytical understanding of the author’s intentions and the text’s deeper implications and the attitudes it displays;                                                               make much well selected reference to the text;                                                                             respond sensitively and in detail to the way language works in the text;                             communicate a considered and reflective personal response to the text.

Grade C

A Grade C candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:                                                 make a reasonably sustained/extended response with detail of narrative and situation;                                                                                                                                                show understanding of the author’s intentions and some of the text’s deeper implications and the attitudes it displays;                                                                                                                                                         show some thoroughness in use of the text for support;                                                             make some response to the way language works in the text;                                          communicate an informed personal response to the text.

Grade E

A Grade E candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:                                                         make some relevant comments in terms of narrative and situation;                                                                                                                                              show some understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface meaning of the text;                                                                                                                                                     make a little reference to the text for support;                                                                              make a little reference to the language of the text;                                                               communicate a basic personal response to the text.

Grade F

A Grade F candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:                                                                                                                                                           make a few straightforward points in terms of narrative and situation;                                show a few signs of understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface                            meanings of the                                    text;                                                                                                                                                    make a little reference to the text;                                                                                                                                                        show evidence of a simple personal response.

Poetry: In-class guided essay (Feb28-March3)

Poetry Essay: In-class Guided Essay on Sonnet 43
The Task:You will have three lessons to write your response to  

the following question:

Explore the ways in which the Elizabeth Barrett-Browning has

used language and other poetic devices to present her ideas

about love in Sonnet 43.

To help you write your first literary essay on poetry, the following  

structure may be useful:

INTRODUCTION(1paragraph)

Use key words from the essay title in a brief description of what the poem is about.

Comment briefly on the themes, issues, thoughts and feelings the poem explores.

Identify the narrator, the tone and viewpoint of the poem.

STRUCTURE (1/2paragraph)

Divide the poem into sections and explain in more detail what the poem is about,

section by section.  Write about the development of ideas and themes from one section

to another and one stanza to another. Consider the significance of shifts in tone between

sections.  Consider the shape of stanzas, line length, sentence length, enjambment and form.

DICTION (WORDS) (1 or 2 paragraphs) Write about the significance and effect

of the poem’s words and their connotations. Look at semantic fields, hyperbole,

contrasts, allusions, level of formality etc. Include short quotations and analysis

of the effects of language.

IMAGERY (1/2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance and effect of the imagery used in the poem.

Consider symbolism, metaphors, similes, personification, oxymoron etc.

Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language.

GRAMMATICAL FEATURES (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the functions of word classes. Consider nouns, pronouns, verbs,

adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, prepositions, articles. Also consider syntax.

Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language. Only write about

features which have significant effects.

SOUNDS (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance of rhyme, rhythm and meter. Consider the use of

repetition .Consider alliteration, sibilance, assonance, short and long vowel sounds,

harsh or soft consonant sounds and onomatopoeia.

CONCLUSION (1 paragraph)

Return to the key words of the question and give your final personal response to

the poem as a whole. Do you think the poem is successful in conveying a message

or portraying experiences, thoughts or feelings? What does the poem make you

think or feel.

It is expected that you will come to class prepared with a copy of  

the poem, your book and any additional notes you decide to bring.

The session will begin on February 28th and finish March 3rd at the end

of the period. When you have finished typing/editing your work you will

print one copy and send one copy to jmayer@bifskorea.org.

Grade DescriptorsYour assignment will be marked according to the following descriptors provided by CIEGrade A 

A Grade A candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

sustain a perceptive and convincing response with well-chosen detail of

narrative and situation;                                                                                                                                                                demonstrate clear critical/analytical understanding of the author’s intentions

and the text’s deeper implications and the attitudes it displays;

make much well selected reference to the text;

respond sensitively and in detail to the way language works in the text;

communicate a considered and reflective personal response to the text.

Grade C

A Grade C candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

make a reasonably sustained/extended response with detail of narrative

and situation;

show understanding of the author’s intentions and some of the text’s deeper

implications and the attitudes it                       displays;                                                                                                                                                                                 show some thoroughness in use of the text for support;

make some response to the way language works in the text;

communicate an informed personal response to the text.

Grade E

A Grade E candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:                                                                                                                                                                                                                   make some relevant comments in terms of narrative and situation;

show some understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface meaning

of the text;

make a little reference to the text for support;

make a little reference to the language of the text;

communicate a basic personal response to the text.

Grade F

A Grade F candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

make a few straightforward points in terms of narrative and situation;                                                                                                                                                                             show a few signs of understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface meanings of the text;                                                                                                                                                                                              make a little reference to the text;

show evidence of a simple personal response.

Additional Comments from Marker:  

Grade Descriptors for Literature

Grade A

A Grade A candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

sustain a perceptive and convincing response with well-chosen detail of narrative and situation;

demonstrate clear critical/analytical understanding of the author’s intentions and the text’s

deeper implications and the attitudes it displays;

make much well selected reference to the text;

respond sensitively and in detail to the way language works in the text;

communicate a considered and reflective personal response to the text.

Grade C

A Grade C candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

make a reasonably sustained/extended response with detail of narrative and situation;

show understanding of the author’s intentions and some of the text’s deeper implications and the attitudes it displays;

show some thoroughness in use of the text for support;

make some response to the way language works in the text;

communicate an informed personal response to the text.

Grade E

A Grade E candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

make some relevant comments in terms of narrative and situation;

show some understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface meaning of the text;

make a little reference to the text for support;

make a little reference to the language of the text;

communicate a basic personal response to the text.

Grade F

A Grade F candidate will have demonstrated the ability to:

make a few straightforward points in terms of narrative and situation;

show a few signs of understanding of the author’s intentions and the surface meanings of the text;

make a little reference to the text;

show evidence of a simple personal response.

Poetry Essay Structure-How To Write An Essay?

If you grew up in the 1980s chances are much of your education took place via osmosis. It just happened; a kind of confluence of activity. This isn’t to say my English Literature teachers didn’t rock, of course they did, which forms a large part of the reason as to why I ended up becoming a teacher. It’s just that I don”t ever recall being taught how to write an essay. We got a question and we simple did it, and if you did well your teacher would write ‘Ex’ for Excellent or ‘v.good’ -you guessed it, for very good. What you got for less less than ‘v.good’ I have no idea -I wasn’t that kind of student, but the point is, how to structure an essay and feedback when the essay was returned, was minimal.

And how things have changed! These days it’s expected you teach students how to write a literary essay, provide them with marking rubrics so that they know what they are being assessed on, and more often than not offer a post-submission interview with the teacher to nut out a five year plan on how to improve. ‘O for more simpler times’, I hear teachers cry. The fact is we can’t turn back, and even if we could, it wouldnt be fair to, you.

So I am going to give you an essay plan on how to structure a poetry essay. Please bare in mind that the structure below ís just one way of structuring an essay. It is helpful as it helps you consider the themes, use of language and literary devices employed by the poet, and therefore makes a good ‘general’ essay. The structure below, however, does not necessarily fit the question you may be set -in which case every topic sentence (the first sentence in each paragraph) should relate to the question at hand (we will cross that bridge when we get to it..)

For now, you may find the structure below, helpful.

INTRODUCTION (1 paragraph)

Use key words from the essay title in a brief description of what the poem is about. Comment briefly on the themes, issues, thoughts and feelings the poem explores.  Identify the narrator, the tone and viewpoint of the poem.

STRUCTURE (1 or 2 paragraph)

Divide the poem into sections and explain in more detail what the poem is about, section by section.  Write about the development of ideas and themes from one section to another and one stanza to another. Consider the significance of shifts in tone between sections.  Consider the shape of stanzas, line length, sentence length, enjambment and caesura.

DICTION (WORDS) (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance and effect of the poem’s words and their connotations. Look at semantic fields, hyperbole, contrasts, allusions, level of formality etc. Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language.

IMAGERY (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance and effect of the imagery used in the poem. Consider symbolism, metaphors, similes, personification, oxymoron etc.  Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language.

GRAMMATICAL FEATURES (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the functions of word classes. Consider nouns, pronouns, verbs, adverbs, adjectives, conjunctions, prepositions, articles. Also consider syntax. Include short quotations and analysis of the effects of language. Only write about features which have significant effects.

SOUNDS (1 or 2 paragraphs)

Write about the significance of rhyme, rhythm and meter. Consider the use of repetition .Consider alliteration, sibilance, assonance, short and long vowel sounds, harsh or soft consonant sounds and onomatopoeia.

CONCLUSION (1 paragraph)

Return to the key words of the question and give your final personal response to the poem as a whole. Do you think the poem is successful in conveying a message or portraying experiences, thoughts or feelings? What does the poem make you think or feel?

How To Annotate Poems-Example

How to Annotate a Poem

We annotate texts and poems in order to understand them.  An annotation requires many readings of the poem.  You must make time to seriously consider each word and its place within the poem as a whole.  What is the poet is saying through this particular speaker/persona?  What is the natural progression of the poem?  What is its purpose?  What is the tone and style of the poem? I will be looking for serious consideration of the following elements:

  • Structure of the poem which explains its progression along with the major turning points
  • Language that denotes regionality, education of speaker, rhetorical purpose, etc.  Is it conversational, colloquial or does the speaker fall back on formal language?
  • Tone:  Is the poem celebratory, depressed, confused?  Does it shift or change?
  • Speaker/Persona:  What does the poem reveal about the speaker?
  • Imagery:  What images does the poem use to create meaning or set the mood?
  • Symbolism:  What images become symbolic?
  • Any other characteristics that are specific to your poem–Every poem is different.

As you research, you will discover that particular poets are known for certain techniques or styles.  If this poem follows that trend or veers from it is important to your understanding of the poem.

My example of an annotated poem:

Poetry Questions For Current Selection of Poems

What are the thematic links between ‘Report to Wordsworth’, ‘Flower-Fed Buffaloes’ and ‘Lament’? You need to answer with at least one paragraph and include one example of how this theme is explored in each poem (one quote per poem with an explanation)

Comment on how Hardy presents the experience of loss in ‘The Voice’.

Explore the way in which Hardy has used language and other poetic devices to present ideas in ‘The Voice’.

Structure plays a crucial role in poetry. What is the importance of structure to ‘The Voice’?

Comment on the use of imagery in ‘Full Moon and Little Frieda’.

How does Hughes present ideas of childhood in ‘Full Moon and Little Frieda’?

Comment on the use of imagery in ‘Lament’.

In what ways could ‘Lament’ be termed an anti-war poem?

How does Clarke use the medium of poetry to explore social concerns in ‘Lament’?

How does Keats present nature in ‘On the grasshopper and the cricket’?

Comment on the way character is presented in ‘First Love’.

Explore the way in which Clare has used language and other poetic devices to present the experience of falling in love in ‘First Love’?

How do any two poems in the anthology use poetry as a medium to share powerful personal experiences?

What use does Byron make of imagery in ‘So, we’ll go no more a-roving’?

How does Byron explore the theme of growing old in ‘So, we’ll go no more a-roving’?

Compare and contrast Sonnets 43 and 29.

In what ways has St Vincent Millay used language and other poetic devices to explore the theme of love in Sonnet 29?

What view of love is explore in Sonnet 29?

Analysis on ‘Amends’

Amends – by Adrienne Rich

Author:

  • A feminist
  • Amends shows how she believed that women went unnoticed (night, sleeping people) and that women are left to make amends for other people’s actions

Poem:

  • Amends definition =
    • to compensate or make up for a wrong doing
    • moon making amends for faults in the world/environment
    • 1ststanza =
      • “nights like this” = from Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice opening lines Act 5
        • helps set the scene
        • automatically links poem with moon

The moon shines bright: in such a night as this,

When the sweet wind did gently kiss the trees,

And they did make no noise, in such a night,

Troilus methinks mounted the Troyan walls,

And sigh’d his soul toward the Grecian tents,

Where Cressid lay that night.

  • “cold” =
    • cold atmosphere
    • suggests that it is at night-time
    • harsh word
  • “white star” =
    • further suggests night-time
    • either apple blossoms of tree falling/moonlight reflections
  • “then another” =
    • Repeatedly happening
    • Multitude of either blossoms or moonlight beams
  • “exploding” =
    • Violent
    • Incongruous to the rest of the poem
    • Harsh word
    • Interrupts stanza’s silence
  • “moonlight picking” =
    • 1st proper mention of moonlight
    • Personifies moon = has human qualities
    • Reflecting off some stones more than others
  • “small stones” =
    • Poem starts off at a small level, small range of view
  • Use of colons =
    • Lists/itemises the progression from sky to tree to ground
  • Mood =
    • Busy = moonlight “picking”, “exploding”
  • No rhyming
  • 2ndstanza =
    • “greater stones” =
      • Broader range of view
      • ‘zoomed out’
  • “rises with surf” =
    • Reflection in water
    • Transparent effect
    • Seems to be bobbing up and down with the waves
  • “laying its cheek” =
    • Relaxing
    • Appeals to sense of touch
    • Strongly links moonlight with femininity = nurturing, loving, caring
  • “moments” =
    • longer amount of time than picking
    • Light reflecting on sand more than on stones
  • “sand” =
    • Links with relaxation (beaches = relaxing places)
  • “licks” =
    • Semi-appeal to taste
    • Personifies moonlight as being a caring, feminine, motherly figure (animals lick other animals if they are hurt/young)
  • “broken” =
    • Confirms moonlight’s caring nature = licking it better
    • Shows that moonlight = trying to repair the damages (make amends)
  • “flows up the cliffs” =
    • Flows like water = links back to the surf
    • Lots of reflection on the cliffs
    • Cliffs common near beaches
    • Uncontrolled (liquids take shape of container), yet relaxed (no use of violent language e.g. “exploding” form stanza 1
  • “flicks” =
    • Not much reflection on tracks
  • “tracks” =
    • Common near beaches as well
    • Commonly found in relaxing environments
  • “picks”, “licks”, “flicks” =
    • Rhyme
    • Give the sense that the moonlight is only lightly touching the environment
    • Further link to femininity
  • “it” =
    • Refers to moonlight
    • Makes the reader forget that it is moonlight = adds to personification
  • Mood & rhythm =
    • Relaxed
    • Calm

Stanza 3

‘as it unavailing pours into the gash’

Unavailing means pointless, possibly suggesting it is too weak, although there is a lot of light. Referencing to early feminism movements, with a lot of female support, but at first no power was available. Gash = wound created by humans.

‘of the sand-and-gravel quarry’

Quarry links back to gash = humans are destroying the environment

‘as it leans across the hangared fuselage’

It can lean across the fuselage as the light reflects off the metallic surface. Personification, further reference to women. Lack of balance (leaning as opposed to standing up freely). Light shines off man-made objects in a stunted way compared with how it shines off natural objects. Fuselage = the main body of the plane. Hangared = almost portrays the plane as sleeping/ in bed (links to the later mentioned “sleepers”).

‘of the crop dusting plane’

Good reflection, ability to identify specifically that it is a crop-dusting plane reveals that light is more useful or powerful as it seems, a contradiction to the pouring into the gash. Allusion to gaining force of feminism movement.

Stanza 4

‘as it soaks through cracks into the trailers’

Soaks suggest that the trailer is saturated in light. For it to saturate the trailer in light, it must be very bright and powerful – it is slowly gathering more energy. It is a liquid-like (water = links back to the water in stanza 2) motion, smooth, agile quiet, gentle. Very feminine. May symbolise that feminism is gaining more ground. Cracks = light enters anywhere possible; light cannot be destroyed = breaks through defences (e.g. walls) with ease. Trailers = poor people, suggests the human damage done to nature has also made humans worse off.

‘tremulous with sleep’

Tremulous describes their bodies and minds shaking and afraid. Direct contrast to the moon, whose light and movement is smooth and gentle. The whole place is asleep.

‘as it dwells upon the eyelids of the sleepers’

Dwelling is a gentle verb, the light can be easily imagined as slowly landing on the eyelids. The moonlight is protects the sleepers. Femininity portrayed through the light = women always looking out for others; caring, gentle. Poet also suggests that women do not get credit for this (“sleepers” don’t notice the light on their eyes)

‘as if to make amends’

The light sympathises with the sleepers, attempts to comfort them. No reference to feminism at all, suggesting that the well-being of mankind is more important than arguments over which sex is superior. “as if” = uncertain about the true motives behind the moons doings. First time the moon is described as being inanimate/not in control of itself.

8. Explore the ways in which Adrienne Rich conveys a sense of mood and atmosphere in the poem Amends

In the poem Amends, Adrienne Rich creates a cold, still, clear atmosphere in which the moon tries to compensate for something it has done in the past.

The atmosphere of Amends is influenced by the setting. Being set on “Nights like this” creates a cool, dark atmosphere contrasted all of a sudden with “white star(s)” “exploding out of the bark” in huge numbers, lighting up the sky. The atmosphere is also human free, with the poem mainly dealing with inanimate objects, which is contrasted through the poet personifying the moon.

“Nights like this”, alluded from Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice, clearly links the poem to the moon, as the line in which it is taken from discusses how very bright the moon was. This accentuates the clear sky in which the moon can shine so brightly.

A prevalent silence falls over the poem, emphasising the still atmosphere. This is suddenly juxtaposed with the stars “exploding”. This silence is predominantly due to the human free nature of the poem. This is because everyone is sleeping. Ironically, the moon comes out almost timidly, “picking at small stones”. In stanza 2 assonance adds to this silence through the repetition of the “-icks” sound in “picks”, “licks” and “flicks” which sound like whispers. The repetitive “f” sound in the words “surf”, “flows” and “cliffs” also adds to the whispers. The atmosphere is also very tranquil and flowing, created in stanza 2, as the moon “licks the broken ledge”, then “flows up the cliffs” and “flicks across the tracks”.

In the poem, stars explode in the sky, and, unlike the moon, appear boldly and bright white in the sky. White light is intense light. This intensity is emphasised by their “exploding out of the bark”. For the stars to shine so brightly the sky must be clear. A clear, cloudless sky accentuates the coldness as all the heat can escape the world. But then, a clear sky also means the weather is good and rainless.

Adrienne Rich creates a sad mood in her poem, implying that the moon has done something wrong to the world, but whatever it does to try to make up for this is obsolete as everyone is “tremulous with sleep”. The moon is also reminiscent that is can’t do more, because it “dwells upon the eyelids of the sleepers”. This sad mood is exemplified with the word “gash” which links to the wound which the moon has created on the earth. Rich evokes this sadness in the reader as everything the moon does is redundant because everyone is asleep, totally unaware and unappreciative.

By personifying and giving the moon human features and emotions, Rich easily conveys to the reader what the moon does on “nights like this”, and the dilemma it is in. It is also made clear that the moon has a close relationship with the sand because it lays “its cheek” on it.

Adrienne Rich touches on the destruction of nature by man in stanza 3 of “Amends”. This is more evidence of the mournful mood of the poem. The moon “pours into the gash” of the “sand and gravel quarry”. The moon is distraught at this gash made in the earth especially because it is a sand quarry, linking to it “laying its cheek on the sand” the stanza before. This relationship is emphasised as the moon “pours” its light into the quarry, showing the rush to get light into it as quickly as water pours over a waterfall. The moonlight is also likened to water when “it soaks through cracks into the trailers”.

Therefore, Adrienne Rich creates a still, cold, human free atmosphere; with a sad, regretful mood as the moon attempts to make amends.

IGCSE Poems for Examination in 2012

From Songs of Ourselves from Part 3 (Poems from the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries): Poems 96 to 109 inclusive, i.e. the following fourteen poems:
Thomas Hardy, ‘The Voice’
Allen Curnow, ‘Time’
Mathew Arnold, ‘Dover Beach’
Adrienne Rich, ‘Amends’
Ted Hughes, ‘Full Moon and Little Frieda’
Gillian Clarke, ‘Lament’
John Keats, ‘The Grasshopper and The Cricket’
Vachel Lindsay, ‘The Flower-fed Buffaloes’
Boey Kim Cheng, ‘Report to Wordsworth’
John Clare, ‘First Love’
Dennis Scott, ‘Marrysong’
George Gordon Lord Byron, ‘So, We’ll Go No More A-Roving’
Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet 43
(‘How do I love thee? Let me count the ways!’)
Edna St Vincent Millay, Sonnet 29
(‘Pity me not because the light of day’)

Poetry Essay Model: Carol Rumens ‘The Carpet Weavers, Morocco’.

The essay below is one written back in 2007 by  Kimberly Tan, a student I taught at the British International School, Jakarta. Although the poem is no longer on the Cambridge IGCSE Syllabus, her essay will give you a good idea as to what is expected when writing one next week.

Discuss how Carol Rumens uses language and imagery to create an effective poem.

In the poem ”Carpet Weavers, Morocco”, Carol Rumens portrays the illusion of beauty radiated by the Moroccan children and their masterpieces, as seen from her point of view as a foreign English woman. Through the effective use of language and imagery, she impresses upon the reader the hopes and dreams of the children, whilst at the same time unveiling the dismal and hopeless situation in which they are trapped. There is a constant sense of irony and injustice in the poem, which successfully draws sympathy and pity from the readers.

The opening line of the first stanza, ‘The children are at the loom of another world’ brings to mind the image of children weaving. Literally, the loom is the machine at which the children weave their carpets, with ”another world” clarifying the difference of nationality between the poet and the children. However, ”loom” is also used to symbolize the omnipresence of the adult world, which can be viewed as the ‘other world’. The children’s employers hold control over their daily lives since by employing them, the children are not allowed to experience an ordinary, carefree childhood. ‘Another world’ suggests that the children do not belong in the carpet-weaving factory-they are meant to be in a world where they can grow, learn and have fun.

The second line of the stanza ‘Their braids are oiled and black, their dresses bright’, is a description of the illusion of beauty. The children are as beautiful as the carpets they weave, but they are only for show, clouding the harsh reality of their lives-hence, it is unmistakable fact that they will not be going anywhere in their beautiful attire. This idea of an illusion is supported by the third line in which Rumens uses the words ‘would make’ instead of  ‘makes’ in association with a ‘melodious chime’. The melodious chime in question is a metaphor for the assorted heights of the children. However the chime is ironically melodious -there are a range of notes-not simply because of the variation in size of the children, but the range of ages-as the children are forced to work as carpet-weavers for the majority their young lives. Thus the effect of ‘would make’ suggests that the time of childhood was sacrificed on the children’s part to make a melodious chime.

The second stanza describes how the children are gazing in a transfixed manner at their works of art, as if they see something more in their carpets than just ‘flicking knots’-they see their futures, their hopes and dreams, for in a way they do depend on their carpets to earn a  living, hoping that the profit made on the trade of their works will achieve their wish to finally escape from the clutches of employment , back into their childhood. They are drawn to their carpets as any child could be drawn to television because they offer a temporary form of escape as suggested by the ‘garden of Islam’.

‘Garden of Islam’ brings to mind the image of paradise or heaven. ‘The bench will be raised’ seems to suggest that the children are lifted into heaven, to be with God. ‘Lacing the dark-rose veins of the treetop’ hints at a divine power-since the children now stand with God, they have a similar ability of giving life, ‘veins’, to what would have been lifeless. However, the irony is again established when we realise that the more energy the children put into the carpets the more beautiful they become,  and the more exquisite the carpets are the less likely they will be able to leave the factory as their employers would be more reluctant to release them.

Rumens tries to extract sympathy from the readers in the third stanza. The image of a carpet being tossed into ‘the merchant’s truck’ undermines the hard work the children have done. The realisation that the children will never get to see their masterpieces again, nor pray upon them is heart breaking. To think that their achievements are for the benefit of others, gives a solemn atmosphere. It is also ironic they will not be able to pray upon their own creations and instead must be content that their hard work will allow for other worshippers to send their prayers to God and have them answered, as suggested by ‘Deep and soft, it will give when heaped with prayer.’ The children receive nothing from their work except a nominal amount, which provides the reader with a startling contrast to the children’s desire for freedom.

Sympathy and pity reaches a climax in the last stanza as the first line ‘the children are hard at work in the school days’ establishes the difference between these children’s days and those of ordinary children. It is once again ironic that they phrase ‘school of days’ should be mentioned when it is clear that the children are not receiving an education. Unlike ordinary privileged children, they are forced to work, to bear the responsibility of breadwinners. The alliteration and repetition of ‘f’ in ”fingers, ‘fly’, ‘freeze’ and ‘frame’ suggests the monotonous life that the carpet-weavers lead-each day they work towards producing spectacular carpets, only to see their work being take away. Each day they wish for their carpets to give them a reliable future, but at the same time, each carpet woven is another of moment of their future gone. ‘Future’ and ‘freedom’ also begin with ‘f’ but their omitted presence signifies their absence in the children’s lives.

The last two lines of the last stanza strikes a note of finality – áll-that-will-be’ symbolizes the potential in the children to become wonderful leading adults of the world, while ‘fly and freeze into the frame of all-that-was’ conveys the message that the children are fated to be carpet-weavers for most of their childhood. By the time their eyes have grown dim from the dust and their fingers lose their nimbleness, they will be forced to leave and enter a world of which they have no knowledge or understanding. By that time, it would be too late to nurture any seeds of growth in their minds.

Carol Rumens has succeeded in conveying the moral message that children who are allowed to go to school should feel lucky and privileged, and that receiving an education means much more than just sitting in a classroom-it may well be the foundation of a desirable and free future.

Copy of ‘Carpet Weavers, Morocco’ Carol Rumens

The poem below is from the 2007-2009 selection from Songs of Ourselves Anthology, produced by CIE. I particularly loved the selection that year and my favorites were ‘Muliebrity’ by Sujata Bhatt and Carol Rumens’‘Carpet Weavers, Morocco’.  The purpose of including ‘Carpet Weavers, Morocco’ is to add to the experience of reading the ‘Model Essay’ response.

Carpet-weavers, Morocco Carol Rumens

 

The children are at the loom of another world.

Their braids are oiled and black, their dresses bright.

Their assorted heights would make a melodious chime.

They watch their flickering knots like television.

As the garden of Islam grows, the bench will be raised. 5

Then they will lace the dark-rose veins of the tree-tops.

The carpet will travel in the merchant’s truck.

It will be spread by the servants of the mosque.

Deep and soft, it will give when heaped with prayer.

The children are hard at work in the school of days. 10

From their fingers the colours of all-that-will-be fly

and freeze into the frame of all-that-was.